1. |
The Witness
04:37
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THE WITNESS © DJ Gosper
Did you touch her young flesh?
Did you kiss her little breasts?
Did you tell her you love her best?
Yes. Yes. Yes. I am the witness
You said she’s special, you thought you were blessed
Was I so old and dry you’d start afresh?
Her soft skin, your old wire-haired chest
How dare you call that love. That aint love
I saw you molest her and cornered you to confess
I stood in the court as the witness
I swore the truth for those who can’t explain
This will not happen again. I am the witness
You deny grooming “Just playing tickles on the bed”
Her childish ways you made dirty in your head
You’d go to prison if she spoke – you made that threat
That aint love. That aint consent. I saw abuse.
In my mind it’s etched. I am the witness
How did I love you? Damn I married you
I trusted you. We trusted you
Am I to blame that you could hide this twisted game for years? for years!
It goes around and around in my head
Don’t mock the damage you’ve done. Don’t mock it!
Nowhere to hide now, You’re a rock spider
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2. |
Will I Ever Love Again?
05:56
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Will I Ever Love Again? © DJ Gosper
Will I ever love again? I don’t think so
After all that’s come to pass. My heart like broken glass
After all that has gone down. Shattered pieces on the ground
Some lost, some never found
I don’t think so
Will I ever love again? I don’t think so
Not with vulnerability. Not with intensity
At best familiarity. See someone took the best of me
so I don’t think so
I gave all I had to give. What’s left?
I thought a part of love was trust hey hey
now I don’t think so
I got it so damn wrong for so damn long
I may be burned I may be down
I may be kicked to the ground but I am strong
I don’t think so
Will I ever give a vow? How could I? How could I now?
I don’t think so
No no no no longer an open book
I may be stirred I may be shook ha
You cannot touch but you can look, but vow?
I don’t think so
My heart was open wide but now I don’t think so
Some days lonely deep inside yeah yeah
You might tempt me like sweet wine
I might invite you in some time
But I warn you if we kiss I’ll cry and cry and cry and cry
I don’t think so no no
There was a time I might have entertained the possibility
But now this latest diagnosis has got the best of me
I was hopeful that you might
I gotta catch my breath now – I got to fight
Go ahead and try but I warn you I might die
I warn you. I don’t think so
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3. |
Why My Husband Went Away
04:56
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WHY MY HUSBAND WENT AWAY © DJ Gosper
What to do now my heart is heavy?
What to do now I’m feeling low?
What to say when people ask me
where did my husband go?
I can’t say, I can’t say. It’s so bad I can’t tell you
why my husband went away and he’ll be gone a long time too
Where he’s gone is where he’ll stay and he’ll be mine no more no way
and he won’t be back some day and that’s all that I should say
but he’s left me with a burden and he’s left me with a debt
and he’s left me with a hurting so bad I can’t forget
and I loved him now I hate him. Sometimes I wish he was dead
and I wish he’d left that child sleeping in her bed
Now my body is still shaking at the sight I can’t unsee
But the child she is safe now and that grown man will never be free
and he says he’s the poor hurt child from a cruel family
Oh please god keep that grown man far far away from me
I can’t say, I can’t say. It’s so bad I can’t tell you
why my husband went away and he’ll be gone a long time too
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4. |
Daddy's Little Girl
04:00
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DADDY’S LITTLE GIRL © DJ Gosper
I’m trying to force some lyrics on the inexplicable
I’m running the analytics on the incomprehensible
I wish I could let the mystery be
but I need to know why you turned your back on me
when I needed you most
I don’t understand and you won’t explain
I can forgive but won’t forget so I know not to trust you again
I wish I could let the mystery be
but I need to know why you turned your back on me
I wish I could turn back time, I wish this was a nursery rhyme
No longer Daddy’s little girl in this upside down world
Where you’re the one with the curl in the middle of your forehead
The things you did were horrid
Now I doubt what my childhood was all about
I was walking away Dad when you pushed me out
No longer Daddy’s little girl in this upside down world
Where you’re the one with the curl in the middle of your forehead
The things you did were horrid
when I needed you most
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5. |
Lay My Troubles Down
05:14
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Thank you for letting me crash on your bed
Thank you, I need to rest my weary head
Man left me in a mess, woman kicked me to the ground
I need to lay my troubles down
Thank you for opening your door
Thank you, thought I might stay one night more
Man left me in this strife, woman kicked me to the ground
I need to lay my troubles down
Lay my troubles down (too tired to fight)
Lay my troubles down (in the morning it’ll be alright)
Lay my troubles down – (just for tonight)
I need to lay my troubles down
Thank you for feeding me these meals
Thank you for loaning me these wheels
I need four walls and a roof over my head
in a home to call my own with a bed
Back seat, it’s another night in this car
Back seat, home is close and yet so far
Man left me in this strife, woman kicked me to the ground
I need to lay my troubles down
Lay my troubles down...
Said I’m bone tired and weary, heartsick and blue
Nothing been the same since I saw you
Doing those things a grown man shouldn’t do
Said I’m bone tired and weary, heartsick and blue
I need to lay my troubles down...
Lay my old bones down
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6. |
Monsters
06:06
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MONSTERS © DJ Gosper
There’s monsters here in human form. They abuse our trust
Swallow us whole then regurgitate our ashes to feed their lust
Monsters say they love us but monsters don’t know how
They twist our truth, they subjugate, mock us,
make hollow vows, make hollow vows
Monster manipulators, masters of disguise
We surrender who we are and let them turn our truth to lies
Monsters feed off misery and kick us when we’re down
They tempt us to the water’s edge, another kick we hear them
laughing as we drown, laugh as we drown
Monsters, predators, parasites, feed off our empathy
We stay with them, they convince us, it’s not safe to leave
Monsters wear a charming mask to fulfil our fantasies
They reel us in they know we are naïve, we’re so naïve
We’re so naïve
Monsters are superior, they are unique! Unique! Unique!
Gaslight, project, deflect, attack the kind, attack the weak
Monsters, malignant monsters must be admired and desired
Overt, covert yeah it’s double the hurt. They’re all ugly from inside
Ugly on the inside
Mirror mirror on the wall, is that the smell of rotting rage?
Minimise, trivialise, they clip our wings and keep us confused in our cage
Monster’s got no sense of self, they don’t know who they are
Who are you? I don’t know who you are
Who are you? I don’t know who you are
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7. |
Girl Song
03:39
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GIRL SONG © DJ Gosper
He thought he got away with it now he’s paying for his crime
We’re left cleaning up his mess while he’s doing time
He tried crawling away to another town
He didn’t count on girl’s standing up to bring him down
He knew right from wrong but he did it anyway
He played the tortured soul, he played a twisted game
The king of spin was in control, until we took his crown
He didn’t count on girl’s standing up to bring him down
He knew how to fake love and how to dodge blame
This was not the first time he’d skipped town and changed his name
He thought he knew how to shut us up so we would not make a sound
Well he didn’t count on girl’s standing up to bring him down
He thought he covered his muddy tracks with smooth talk and charms
Said he didn’t hurt nobody, said he didn’t do no harm
but the detective was a tough broad. Judge wore her wig and gown
Well he didn’t count on girl’s standing up
He didn’t count on girl’s speaking up
He didn’t count on girl’s standing up to bring him down
Girl song. This is a girl song.
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8. |
The Wonder Of You
03:01
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THE WONDER OF YOU © DJ Gosper
Goodnight my darling, sleep well tonight
I love ya to the moon and beyond
You’re safe now my darling
for tonight and from now on
to dream, grow tall and stay strong
You were born when I was dying
and as babies do
you gave me hope and strength to survive
You were born when I was dying
I’m glad to be alive
to witness the wonder of youo
Goodnight my darling, sleep well tonight
I love ya to the moon and beyond
People can be cruel and the world can be unfair
This you’ve learn so young
But people can be kind and people can care
Remember this from now on
Goodnight my darling, sleep well tonight
I love ya to the moon
I love ya to the moon
Love ya to the mooooooon and beyond
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9. |
Grief
05:54
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GRIEF © DJ Gosper
Grief lives in her lungs
With every breath every breath every breath
it screams and hooks, gets stuck
Betrayal lives in her heart
With every beat every beat every beat it tears her apart
Joy, oh joy, it’s a fleeting reality. Joy, oh joy, lives in her TV
Lover? Where are you lover?
Lover? Where are you now? Where are you now?
Joy, oh joy, a fleeting reality. Joy, oh joy, lives in her TV
Lover? Where are you lover?
Lover? Where are you now? Where are you now?
Pain lives in her gut
Makes her sick, makes her sick, makes her sick
Makes her stuck
Kindness lives in her breasts
Cut ‘em off, cut ‘em off, cut ‘em off. Still she gives and she gives
Oh what’s left?
Anger lives in her songs
Write it out on the page, let it rage on the stage, let it rage
Lover? Where are you lover?
Lover? Where are you now? Tell me where are you now?
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10. |
Speak Out
03:54
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SPEAK OUT © DJ Gosper
If you feel stuck it might be time to change things up
If someone makes you scared, does that someone really care?
If it feels unjust, it’s time to learn who you can trust
Be brave, speak out, until we hear
If you feel alone, If you don’t feel safe at home
If something don’t feel right, let it out of the dark and into the light
If you feel trapped, if someone you love makes you feel bad
Be brave, speak out, until we hear
If you feel uncertain, if you feel confused
Remember that your body belongs to you
And if you’re being told to keep quiet
Remember secrets aren’t for keeping if they don’t feel right
Remember secrets aren’t for keeping if they don’t feel right
If you feel guilt or shame, think twice about who’s to blame
If you feel guilt or shame, remember other people have felt the same
Those people understand, they are near
They know how to help you face your fears
Be brave, speak out, until we hear
You have a right to feel safe. You have a right to live well
Nothing is so terrible that you can’t tell
Now is the time for shifting gear
Get it off your chest, tell it loud and clear
Be brave, speak out, until we hear
Shame don’t heal nobody, it just keeps us bound
Shame don’t heal nobody
Secrets aren’t for keeping if they don’t feel right
Secrets aren’t for keeping if they don’t feel right
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11. |
I'm OK
04:39
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I’M OK © DJ Gosper
Just getting by. No direction. Bumbling along day to day
How am I going? All I can say. I’m still here so I guess I’m ok
Got me a dog for company. Oh the things that little dog is teaching me
How am I going? All I can say. I’m still here so I guess I’m ok
I miss my son, miss what I thought was my family
I miss the life I had even though it wasn’t real
I didn’t know that at the time so I thought everything was fine
I’m still here so I must be ok
I thought I might get over it as time went on. Well the crisis is over
but the damn pain lingers on. How am I going? All I can say
I’m still here so I guess I’m ok
You want me to say I’m over it. Well guess what? I’m not
You want me sing about how I’m moving on
Maybe I will when I am in another song
You want all the trauma from go to whoa, gift wrapped in a box
and tied with a bow? Oh what a tidy lie that would be
Oh what a tidy lie that would be, and so far removed from my reality
When I’m still in shock and wondering what hit me
Said I’m still in shock and wondering what hit me
In these 4 walls I now call home, In these 4 walls I’m on my own
In these 4 walls all I can say, I’m still here so I guess I’m OK
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12. |
On My Own
04:37
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ON MY OWN © DJ Gosper
I’m turning these four walls into my home
I never thought I’d live alone. I’m on my own
There’s nineteen years of you and me
Packed in boxes under my feet
- we’re history
I’ve got some plants that I put in pots
A money tree for luck and forget me nots
Forget me nots, forget me not
There’s my tv screen, for months it’s been black
You always fixed it, yeah you had the knack
You won’t be back
My second-hand lounge is purple and green
It’s much brighter than my TV screen
I wish I could scream
My body aches. The feeling’s back it seems
This is real not some nightmare dream
I try to scream. Why can’t I scream?
A photo of my mum is up on my wall
She’s beautiful and strong, not even five feet tall
I miss my mum
Beside my mum, a photo of my son
He’s handsome, he’s loyal, yeah he’s my fragile one
He’s my fragile son
There’s my single bed where I miss your heat
I wish I could cry myself to sleep
I wish I could weep. Why can’t I weep?
Our wedding photo used to be by the phone
I never signed up to live on my own
I’m on my own
I’m turning these four walls into my home
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13. |
Rest
02:56
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REST © DJ Gosper
At the end of each day I tell myself I’m doing great,
yeah I’m doing so well. I comfort myself
Rock forward, rock back, doing my best, now rest
I’ll get through this, don’t know how. How don’t matter for now
I’m moving mountains, a grain of sand at a time
Rock forward, rock back, doing my best, now rest
Rock forward, rock back, rock side to side
Everything will be alright, It’ll be alright
Rock forward, rock back, doing my best, now rest
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Dorothy-Jane Canberra, Australia
Australian singer, songwriter, harmonica player. Veteran of the Canberra Blues scene. Performed across Australasia, released
8 albums, 2 EPs.
Her songs draw on her lived experiences, shed light on dark topics.
She's aka KarismaKatz, DJ/DeeJay Gosper, Hot Flush Blues Band, Dorothy-Jane with Richard Steele, Jeff & Deej.
... more
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