The Witness

by Dorothy-Jane

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1.
The Witness 04:37
THE WITNESS © DJ Gosper Did you touch her young flesh? Did you kiss her little breasts? Did you tell her you love her best? Yes. Yes. Yes. I am the witness You said she’s special, you thought you were blessed Was I so old and dry you’d start afresh? Her soft skin, your old wire-haired chest How dare you call that love. That aint love I saw you molest her and cornered you to confess I stood in the court as the witness I swore the truth for those who can’t explain This will not happen again. I am the witness You deny grooming “Just playing tickles on the bed” Her childish ways you made dirty in your head You’d go to prison if she spoke – you made that threat That aint love. That aint consent. I saw abuse. In my mind it’s etched. I am the witness How did I love you? Damn I married you I trusted you. We trusted you Am I to blame that you could hide this twisted game for years? for years! It goes around and around in my head Don’t mock the damage you’ve done. Don’t mock it! Nowhere to hide now, You’re a rock spider
2.
Will I Ever Love Again? © DJ Gosper Will I ever love again? I don’t think so After all that’s come to pass. My heart like broken glass After all that has gone down. Shattered pieces on the ground Some lost, some never found I don’t think so Will I ever love again? I don’t think so Not with vulnerability. Not with intensity At best familiarity. See someone took the best of me so I don’t think so I gave all I had to give. What’s left? I thought a part of love was trust hey hey now I don’t think so I got it so damn wrong for so damn long I may be burned I may be down I may be kicked to the ground but I am strong I don’t think so Will I ever give a vow? How could I? How could I now? I don’t think so No no no no longer an open book I may be stirred I may be shook ha You cannot touch but you can look, but vow? I don’t think so My heart was open wide but now I don’t think so Some days lonely deep inside yeah yeah You might tempt me like sweet wine I might invite you in some time But I warn you if we kiss I’ll cry and cry and cry and cry I don’t think so no no There was a time I might have entertained the possibility But now this latest diagnosis has got the best of me I was hopeful that you might I gotta catch my breath now – I got to fight Go ahead and try but I warn you I might die I warn you. I don’t think so
3.
WHY MY HUSBAND WENT AWAY © DJ Gosper What to do now my heart is heavy? What to do now I’m feeling low? What to say when people ask me where did my husband go? I can’t say, I can’t say. It’s so bad I can’t tell you why my husband went away and he’ll be gone a long time too Where he’s gone is where he’ll stay and he’ll be mine no more no way and he won’t be back some day and that’s all that I should say but he’s left me with a burden and he’s left me with a debt and he’s left me with a hurting so bad I can’t forget and I loved him now I hate him. Sometimes I wish he was dead and I wish he’d left that child sleeping in her bed Now my body is still shaking at the sight I can’t unsee But the child she is safe now and that grown man will never be free and he says he’s the poor hurt child from a cruel family Oh please god keep that grown man far far away from me I can’t say, I can’t say. It’s so bad I can’t tell you why my husband went away and he’ll be gone a long time too
4.
DADDY’S LITTLE GIRL © DJ Gosper I’m trying to force some lyrics on the inexplicable I’m running the analytics on the incomprehensible I wish I could let the mystery be but I need to know why you turned your back on me when I needed you most I don’t understand and you won’t explain I can forgive but won’t forget so I know not to trust you again I wish I could let the mystery be but I need to know why you turned your back on me I wish I could turn back time, I wish this was a nursery rhyme No longer Daddy’s little girl in this upside down world Where you’re the one with the curl in the middle of your forehead The things you did were horrid Now I doubt what my childhood was all about I was walking away Dad when you pushed me out No longer Daddy’s little girl in this upside down world Where you’re the one with the curl in the middle of your forehead The things you did were horrid when I needed you most
5.
Thank you for letting me crash on your bed Thank you, I need to rest my weary head Man left me in a mess, woman kicked me to the ground I need to lay my troubles down Thank you for opening your door Thank you, thought I might stay one night more Man left me in this strife, woman kicked me to the ground I need to lay my troubles down Lay my troubles down (too tired to fight) Lay my troubles down (in the morning it’ll be alright) Lay my troubles down – (just for tonight) I need to lay my troubles down Thank you for feeding me these meals Thank you for loaning me these wheels I need four walls and a roof over my head in a home to call my own with a bed Back seat, it’s another night in this car Back seat, home is close and yet so far Man left me in this strife, woman kicked me to the ground I need to lay my troubles down Lay my troubles down... Said I’m bone tired and weary, heartsick and blue Nothing been the same since I saw you Doing those things a grown man shouldn’t do Said I’m bone tired and weary, heartsick and blue I need to lay my troubles down... Lay my old bones down
6.
Monsters 06:06
MONSTERS © DJ Gosper There’s monsters here in human form. They abuse our trust Swallow us whole then regurgitate our ashes to feed their lust Monsters say they love us but monsters don’t know how They twist our truth, they subjugate, mock us, make hollow vows, make hollow vows Monster manipulators, masters of disguise We surrender who we are and let them turn our truth to lies Monsters feed off misery and kick us when we’re down They tempt us to the water’s edge, another kick we hear them laughing as we drown, laugh as we drown Monsters, predators, parasites, feed off our empathy We stay with them, they convince us, it’s not safe to leave Monsters wear a charming mask to fulfil our fantasies They reel us in they know we are naïve, we’re so naïve We’re so naïve Monsters are superior, they are unique! Unique! Unique! Gaslight, project, deflect, attack the kind, attack the weak Monsters, malignant monsters must be admired and desired Overt, covert yeah it’s double the hurt. They’re all ugly from inside Ugly on the inside Mirror mirror on the wall, is that the smell of rotting rage? Minimise, trivialise, they clip our wings and keep us confused in our cage Monster’s got no sense of self, they don’t know who they are Who are you? I don’t know who you are Who are you? I don’t know who you are
7.
Girl Song 03:39
GIRL SONG © DJ Gosper He thought he got away with it now he’s paying for his crime We’re left cleaning up his mess while he’s doing time He tried crawling away to another town He didn’t count on girl’s standing up to bring him down He knew right from wrong but he did it anyway He played the tortured soul, he played a twisted game The king of spin was in control, until we took his crown He didn’t count on girl’s standing up to bring him down He knew how to fake love and how to dodge blame This was not the first time he’d skipped town and changed his name He thought he knew how to shut us up so we would not make a sound Well he didn’t count on girl’s standing up to bring him down He thought he covered his muddy tracks with smooth talk and charms Said he didn’t hurt nobody, said he didn’t do no harm but the detective was a tough broad. Judge wore her wig and gown Well he didn’t count on girl’s standing up He didn’t count on girl’s speaking up He didn’t count on girl’s standing up to bring him down Girl song. This is a girl song.
8.
THE WONDER OF YOU © DJ Gosper Goodnight my darling, sleep well tonight I love ya to the moon and beyond You’re safe now my darling for tonight and from now on to dream, grow tall and stay strong You were born when I was dying and as babies do you gave me hope and strength to survive You were born when I was dying I’m glad to be alive to witness the wonder of youo Goodnight my darling, sleep well tonight I love ya to the moon and beyond People can be cruel and the world can be unfair This you’ve learn so young But people can be kind and people can care Remember this from now on Goodnight my darling, sleep well tonight I love ya to the moon I love ya to the moon Love ya to the mooooooon and beyond
9.
Grief 05:54
GRIEF © DJ Gosper Grief lives in her lungs With every breath every breath every breath it screams and hooks, gets stuck Betrayal lives in her heart With every beat every beat every beat it tears her apart Joy, oh joy, it’s a fleeting reality. Joy, oh joy, lives in her TV Lover? Where are you lover? Lover? Where are you now? Where are you now? Joy, oh joy, a fleeting reality. Joy, oh joy, lives in her TV Lover? Where are you lover? Lover? Where are you now? Where are you now? Pain lives in her gut Makes her sick, makes her sick, makes her sick Makes her stuck Kindness lives in her breasts Cut ‘em off, cut ‘em off, cut ‘em off. Still she gives and she gives Oh what’s left? Anger lives in her songs Write it out on the page, let it rage on the stage, let it rage Lover? Where are you lover? Lover? Where are you now? Tell me where are you now?
10.
Speak Out 03:54
SPEAK OUT © DJ Gosper If you feel stuck it might be time to change things up If someone makes you scared, does that someone really care? If it feels unjust, it’s time to learn who you can trust Be brave, speak out, until we hear If you feel alone, If you don’t feel safe at home If something don’t feel right, let it out of the dark and into the light If you feel trapped, if someone you love makes you feel bad Be brave, speak out, until we hear If you feel uncertain, if you feel confused Remember that your body belongs to you And if you’re being told to keep quiet Remember secrets aren’t for keeping if they don’t feel right Remember secrets aren’t for keeping if they don’t feel right If you feel guilt or shame, think twice about who’s to blame If you feel guilt or shame, remember other people have felt the same Those people understand, they are near They know how to help you face your fears Be brave, speak out, until we hear You have a right to feel safe. You have a right to live well Nothing is so terrible that you can’t tell Now is the time for shifting gear Get it off your chest, tell it loud and clear Be brave, speak out, until we hear Shame don’t heal nobody, it just keeps us bound Shame don’t heal nobody Secrets aren’t for keeping if they don’t feel right Secrets aren’t for keeping if they don’t feel right
11.
I'm OK 04:39
I’M OK © DJ Gosper Just getting by. No direction. Bumbling along day to day How am I going? All I can say. I’m still here so I guess I’m ok Got me a dog for company. Oh the things that little dog is teaching me How am I going? All I can say. I’m still here so I guess I’m ok I miss my son, miss what I thought was my family I miss the life I had even though it wasn’t real I didn’t know that at the time so I thought everything was fine I’m still here so I must be ok I thought I might get over it as time went on. Well the crisis is over but the damn pain lingers on. How am I going? All I can say I’m still here so I guess I’m ok You want me to say I’m over it. Well guess what? I’m not You want me sing about how I’m moving on Maybe I will when I am in another song You want all the trauma from go to whoa, gift wrapped in a box and tied with a bow? Oh what a tidy lie that would be Oh what a tidy lie that would be, and so far removed from my reality When I’m still in shock and wondering what hit me Said I’m still in shock and wondering what hit me In these 4 walls I now call home, In these 4 walls I’m on my own In these 4 walls all I can say, I’m still here so I guess I’m OK
12.
On My Own 04:37
ON MY OWN © DJ Gosper I’m turning these four walls into my home I never thought I’d live alone. I’m on my own There’s nineteen years of you and me Packed in boxes under my feet - we’re history I’ve got some plants that I put in pots A money tree for luck and forget me nots Forget me nots, forget me not There’s my tv screen, for months it’s been black You always fixed it, yeah you had the knack You won’t be back My second-hand lounge is purple and green It’s much brighter than my TV screen I wish I could scream My body aches. The feeling’s back it seems This is real not some nightmare dream I try to scream. Why can’t I scream? A photo of my mum is up on my wall She’s beautiful and strong, not even five feet tall I miss my mum Beside my mum, a photo of my son He’s handsome, he’s loyal, yeah he’s my fragile one He’s my fragile son There’s my single bed where I miss your heat I wish I could cry myself to sleep I wish I could weep. Why can’t I weep? Our wedding photo used to be by the phone I never signed up to live on my own I’m on my own I’m turning these four walls into my home
13.
Rest 02:56
REST © DJ Gosper At the end of each day I tell myself I’m doing great, yeah I’m doing so well. I comfort myself Rock forward, rock back, doing my best, now rest I’ll get through this, don’t know how. How don’t matter for now I’m moving mountains, a grain of sand at a time Rock forward, rock back, doing my best, now rest Rock forward, rock back, rock side to side Everything will be alright, It’ll be alright Rock forward, rock back, doing my best, now rest

about

13 original tracks concept album. Moderate impact coarse language and themes.

credits

released January 17, 2020

©DJ Gosper
Core band: Dorothy-Jane (vocal, harmonica); Ali Penney (keys); Ben Hoare (guitar); Matt Nightingale (bass); Jack Barnard (drums)
Session musicians: John Mackey (saxophone); Julia Horvath (cello)
Tracking Engineer: Jack Buchanan; Mixed, Mastered and Produced by David Pendragon @The Studio Canberra Australia

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about

Dorothy-Jane Canberra, Australia

Australian singer, songwriter, harmonica player. Veteran of the Canberra Blues scene. Performed across Australasia, released 8 albums, 2 EPs.
Her songs draw on her lived experiences, shed light on dark topics.
She's aka KarismaKatz, DJ/DeeJay Gosper, Hot Flush Blues Band, Dorothy-Jane with Richard Steele, Jeff & Deej.
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